Don't Get Caught Reading Glamour

I recently was perusing MSN when I stumbled upon an article written by Julie Klam for Glamour magazine entitled, “Would You Be Friends With You?” Now I must admit the only thing I know, or think I know, about Glamour magazine is that is a written largely for women. In a nutshell the article is made up of a series of questions that the reader, a woman, is supposed to ask herself in order to figure out whether she would “excel in the friend department or are one of those annoying people who always assumes everyone wants to hear the dream they had last night.” Questions like:

• Would you pick up your own call?
• Would you shop for a swimsuit with you?
• Would you be happy if you got a new boyfriend? 

While I am not a woman, this article intrigued me. It intrigued me because it further solidified my belief that a man needs to be conscience of the way his significant other views the effort he is putting into their relationship. If you do not think that your lady is analyzing everything you do and say then you’re a fool! Look at the things she spends time thinking about... hello… “would you be friends with you” anyone? If your significant other analyzes what kind of friend she is to her friends you can bet your bottom dollar that she has and is using those same analytical powers while looking in your direction mister! 

The good news is that women do not expect men to be perfect. At least that is my experience. Flip through an issue of Glamour or Cosmopolitan just once and you will see there are plenty of articles written by women, for women, explaining that we are the “train wrecks” of the human species and they need to be cognizant of that when engaging in a relationship with a man. Just because females are cognizant of it does not mean that they are overly tolerant of it however. Therein lies the essence this blog. As a man you do not have to change your behavior, what makes you a man if you will, to satisfy your significant other’s every whim or desire. Heck, I bet she does not want that either. But she does need you to make an effort, an effort that lets her know that you believe your life is better because she is in it. So what are you to do to give her that feeling? Well if you are new to this blog, you should start by reading one of my previous posts:

• Life Sucks Sometimes - the Power of a Really Good Kiss
• Don't Call Her a Cheap Date
• How to Argue the Right Way

As for the regular readers who are looking for a new weekly tip, here it is. Sometime while out together, before getting into the vehicle, walk around to her side of the car and open the door for her. Wait patiently for her to be seated and then close the car door. She will be pleasantly surprised that not only did you open the car door for her but that you waited while she seated herself to close the door so she did not have to.

There you have it, another example of something simple that will make your significant other feel like she has made the right choice in choosing you. Remember, it’s the little things. Oh, one piece of advice. If you decide to flip through an issue of Glamour or Cosmopolitan to see what is really inside those things, for God’s sake do not let your buddies find out about it! Until next week...

It’s the Little Things – the Hubby Coach Mindset in the Real Life

A friend of mine pulled me aside today to share a story with me. It seems her boyfriend, the morning after she spent the night, snuck downstairs and prepared breakfast for her. Once the meal was prepared he texted her that breakfast was ready. This event took place Sunday morning and today is Wednesday. This tells me two things, 1) her boyfriend’s effort of preparing breakfast with a creative text message made an impact upon her and 2) it is truly the little things that make the difference between having an average relationship and a stellar one.

This is a perfect example of something little making a big difference. The fact of the matter is this particular gesture did not take days of planning. There was not a significant monetary commitment involved. If you get right down to it, all he had to do was be quiet and make breakfast, and I am guessing he would have made breakfast anyway. Add a dash of creativity on his part, the text message, and he had recipe to make his girlfriend feel special, wanted and loved. Not only that, but she was was telling others about how thoughtful he was days later. Excellent! This is what we are all about at Hubby Coach, taking something ordinary and making it extraordinary. Two thumbs up!

Take this idea and run with it, or put your own twist on it, either way it will have your significant other telling her friends how sweet and thoughtful you are!

Till next week – Hubby Coach

Don't Call Her a Cheap Date!

Dates can be expensive. $40 for dinner, $30 for a movie, and if you have children an additional $30 for the babysitter, my point is it all adds up quickly. But is it really necessary? Sometimes I think we get lost why we go on a date in the first place. Think back to a time that involves a younger version of you, a time when you were just starting out on your own. If you are like most people you probably didn’t have a pot to piss in. Did that stop you from dating? Heck no! You still went out on dates. And if I was a betting man, I would be that you probably remember some of those dates better than any date you had recently. Why is that?

In my opinion you remember those dates for a couple of reasons. Fist is that you were probably somewhat new to dating. Anytime we experience something new we are likely to remember it. Second, and more importantly, is because we connected with our date on an emotional level. The focus of the date was not what you were doing, it was who you doing it with.

Some of my first dates with my later to be wife consisted of:

• long car rides
• listening to music
• walking through the mall holding hands
• high school football games

Most of the things we did together, and things like them, allowed me to focus on her, to connect with her and to share who I was, my beliefs, my dreams and vice versa. As time passes I think people lose sight of that. They start to focus on doing things that cost money instead of doing the things that keep them and their significant other close. Not doing those things cost you in other ways. Your significant other might feel disconnected from you or you might feel like you have “lost touch” with your significant other. That gets me to this week’s recommendation. Take your significant other on a cheap date. Take a drive or go for a walk. Whatever it is, separate yourself from the “same old, same old” and make the focus of the cheap date each other and reconnect. Talk, listen and share. It might just be the best date you have had in quite some time.

Till next week.

I Refuse to Buy Flowers - A Budget Friendly Tip

Something happens to females when they are young. I’m not exactly sure when it happens, but I know that it does indeed happen. Girls, like a light switch being flipped, suddenly become enamored by flowers. Maybe there is an underground association that is secretly controlled by the flower and greeting card industry that manipulates the mind of a young child through the Disney Channel, or maybe it is in their DNA, some rogue gene that springs to life after they become teenagers. Maybe, as parents, it is our fault. We give flowers to our daughters when they perform at a dance recital or give a performance at a school play and they begin to associate flowers with praise. Either way before we know it, they love flowers. They love the colors, the way they smell, the way they look and they eventually associate them with all sorts of feelings. Heck, they don’t even have to be happy feelings! Flowers, in the right circumstance, can convey sadness. Flowers are given to someone who has recently lost a loved one, for example. Well, I HATE to buy flowers and I’m not going to do it!

So what is a guy to do when his woman loves to receive flowers? Before I answer that question lets back up a minute and let me remind you of what this blog is trying to accomplish or more importantly help you accomplish. The purpose of the Hubby Coach Blog is to help you think of unique ideas that, when done properly, will make your significant other go “Wow!” Most of the suggestions I put forth will cost you nothing more than your time and often involve going against the grain and doing something that catches your significant by surprise because of the thoughtfulness of your actions. That is the essence of the Hubby Coach Blog.

Ok, back to the question at hand. What is a guy to do when his woman loves to receive flowers? The way I see it you have three options. Only one of the options comes with the official Hubby Coach seal of approval. Let’s see if you can guess which one it is:

Option #1 – You can buy them. Stop at your local flower shop and pull out your credit card, or order them online and have them delivered. Either way, there are lots of people in the flower business who will happily take your hard earned money. Keep in mind that purchasing flowers is not cheap.

While this is convenient and will garner an appreciative hug and kiss from your significant other, it lacks that “WOW” factor that we are looking for here at Hubby Coach. Not to mention, I hate spending money on something that will soon be discarded. After all, a flower begins to die the moment it is cut.

Option #2 – Do nothing. Obviously this is not recommended, doing nothing will get you nothing in return. Technically it is still an option though.

Option #3 – Pick your own. Take a look around, there is an abundance of wild flowers. Including some, in my opinion, more beautiful than what you will find at a florist shop. Pay attention the next time you go hunting, fishing, or take a drive through the country. They are everywhere.

Which option did you pick? Hopefully you chose Option #3. Option #3 has the “WOW” factor the other two options lack. Your significant other will interpret that you, by picking your own flowers, that you are caring and sensitive because of the time you spent to locate and cut your own bouquet. Plus, she will be impressed that you did not take the easy path and just purchased them. This is truly a win win situation because she is impressed with your thoughtfulness and you didn’t spend a dime.

Here are some flowers I found on my last fishing trip: