The Hubby Coach Blog list

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Life Sucks Sometimes Part 2 - the Power of Music

Normally I am a very optimistic person. I see the world through rose colored glasses and frankly I wouldn’t have it any other way. I cannot imagine going through life being a pessimist, always sour about something. Every once in a while however, like most people, I have an off day. We all encounter things throughout our day that can turn us from Happy into Grumpy in a heartbeat. That was a Snow White reference in case you missed it. It might be something as simple as misinterpreting an e-mail to an exchange of words with the boss. These things, when they transpire, can change a great day into an abysmal one very quickly. It is our own fault really. We give other people the power to ruin our day. But I digress, that is topic for another post.

In my last post, Life Sucks Sometimes – the Power of a Really Good Kiss, I wrote about how a kiss from the one you love is like some kind of magic trick evaporating the negative from your day into thin air. So too can music. Music has the ability to reach out and grab a person because it is entertaining, sometimes hypnotic and most importantly for our discussion, relatable. Have you ever found yourself tapping your foot or singing along to a song while in a bad mood? Me either. I have found however that a great song, one that strikes a chord with its listener, can turn a day around. Now that is power!

Music can truly help an individual in many different ways, from dealing with a death of a loved one to expressing how one feels. That gets me to this week tip. However, to accomplish it you will need to be a little covert or sneaky if you will. It will also require a little bit of time on your part as well. Intrigued?

First you will need to confiscate your significant other’s mp3 player. Or if you really want to look good purchase a new one for her. Below you will find a few examples for your consideration. Once you have the mp3 player load it up with at least ten songs that make you think of her. Sort of a modern day mixed tape. Do not however burn the songs on a CD-R. What I am proposing shows more thought and effort on your part and believe you me when I tell you she will appreciate it. In fact she is sure to appreciate the gift itself and will be astonished that you took the time to put songs with meaning on it. She will think you are romantic at heart and her friends will say “Awwwww” when she tells them about your extremely thoughtful and sensitive gift. And if I know one thing, a woman loves to use words like “romantic,” “thoughtful,” and “sensitive” when talking about her man.

Well there you have it. As always be sure to leave a comment and let me know how things go. Till next time.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Look the lyrics up on-line to make sure the songs you choose are really saying what you think they are. If not you might end up doing damage control like some politician whose wife found out he just took a “business” trip to Aruba with an intern.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Life Sucks Sometimes - The Power of a Really Good Kiss

Have you ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right? You know, one of those days where you think that if one more thing goes wrong you are going to pack it in and go back to bed? Well I was having one of those days last week.

The day started with my alarm going off and me hitting snooze one too many times. Once up I proceeded to kick the corner of the dresser while rushing to get through my morning routine. Needless to say I was late for work and in a foul mood before I even sat down in my office. Being the optimistic person that I am, I tried to shake it off and focus on the day ahead. My positive thoughts only lasted a short while however as the wheels came off the bus. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. The world was out to get me. I was sure of it.

Finally the work day was over! I was on my way home and I knew what was going to happen. My foul mood was going to ooze into the house like a thick fog. It was going to infect everyone in the house. If my wife and daughter were in a good mood they wouldn’t be for long. Unfortunately for most people that seems to be the result of a bad day, projecting it on others.

Arriving at home, I parked the car in the garage, mumbled to myself and walked into the house. Once inside, my wife met me at the door and laid a kiss on me. And boy what a kiss it was! Now she had no idea of the day I was having. After a few seconds the kiss ended and she asked “How was your day?” Do you know what my answer was? I responded to her question with one word, “Great!”

But wait a minute! My day wasn’t great! Why did I say “great?” In hindsight I realize that in that moment my day changed. In three seconds it went from terrible to great. The day was great!  At least now it was.  The sun was shining, I could smell fresh cut grass and someone somewhere was grilling out.  I sat on my deck that evening, enjoyed a wonderful dinner and thought, “I have a great life!” That is the power of a really good kiss!

That leads me to my next tip. Kiss your significant other when you greet her after work.  Linger a little longer than normal and let her get lost in the moment.  Do that every day next week and see what happens.  =)

Thursday, August 12, 2010

How to Argue the Right Way?

Recently I watched a video titled “Is there a right way to argue with your spouse?” And while I thought it was an interesting video with lots of good advice, I couldn’t help but think that in an ideal world the argument would be avoided altogether. That is exactly what this blog is all about, talking a little time out of your day, doing something for your significant other and avoiding the fight altogether. The fact of the matter is that if you do the things I am proposing weekly, your significant other is bound to cut you a little slack when she interprets something you do as insensitive, chauvinistic or hurtful. And let’s face it, you are going to do something wrong. We all do. It is just a matter of time.

Before I get to this week’s suggestion, let’s review the video I mentioned above. First off, if you spend the time to watch it, it is roughly eight minutes long, it seems to be a segment written for women and comes off “cheesey” to me. But it does have some value. The segment addresses topics like:

• Avoiding using derogatory statements or “low blows”
• Addressing the issue without insulting your partner
• Being specific and making sure that both individuals get to speak.

All-in-all the video has some very good points and if you and your significant other are prone to arguing I recommend that you watch the video. It can be found HERE.

Ok, enough about the video and how to argue the right way, let’s do something that will help you avoid the argument altogether, which leads us into this week’s suggestion. This week’s suggestion is to go against the grain. Pick something, anything, that you normally do or don’t do that affects your significant other and surprise her by doing the opposite. Do you normally hold the television remote in the evening? Let her control the TV for a night. If she normally cooks breakfast on the weekend, you do it for a change. Instead of holding the remote control, hold her hand while sitting on the couch together. When is the last time you cleaned the dishes or put them away after the dishwasher was done with them? See what I am getting at?

Well there you have it. This week’s tip is to pick something and go against the grain. Be sure to write a comment below to let me know what you did and what your significant other’s response was. Till next time.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Your Personal Trainer for Your Personal Life says "Let's Go!"

I think she missed.
Here we go!

Today is the day! What day? Why, the day we get started WOW-ing that lady of yours, of course. But before I get to that, I found an interesting article on Yahoo! this morning. It is titled “For Guys: A Guide to Girl Talk” by Amy Spencer. Amy writes some things that really make me want to pack my bags and live the life of a monk on some mountain-high temple. For example, Amy writes, “If you’ve ever spoken to a woman, it’s fair to say you’ve been confused by one. Yes doesn’t always mean yes, no doesn’t always mean no, and most of us have once in our lives even admitted, “Well, I may have said that, but I didn’t mean it.” “

It is like we have moved to Bizarro World. You know, in the Superman comic books where everything is backward. Didn’t everyone read Superman when they were a kid?

Amy continues her article by sighting examples of what a woman says versus what she really means. Here is my favorite example:

What she says: “If you want to have a guy’s night, go ahead, fine.”
What she means: “I really, really don’t want you to go. And if you do, I’m going to be upset.”

Say what? So really what she is saying is that trying to decipher what a woman means is harder than trying to decipher the hand singles from the coach on an opposing baseball team.

So what are you, a guy, to do if a your woman says “yes” when she means “no,” or if she says it is perfectly fine with her if you do something, only to find out later that you’re in trouble? Because let’s face it, sooner or later you are going to do something wrong, whether it is taking her at her word, acting immature, or tuning her out while your favorite sport is on. The only thing you can do is try to stack the deck in your favor. And just how are you going to do that? By doing the one thing that I know she likes, making her the center of your attention even if it is only in limited brief spurts. You see, if I know one thing, it is that women, all women, like to be the center of her man’s world. That doesn’t mean that you have to dote on her every minute of the day, but it does mean that you have to go out of your way once in a while to make her feel special.

One piece of advice before you start

If you have been in your relationship a while and have not gone out of your way to make your lady feel like she is the center of your world, then you might face a little backlash the first time you attempt you make an effort and follow one of the tasks. She might think that you want something. It is extremely important that, if she questions you, you tell her that you have no ulterior motives and it was you thinking of her that prompted your action.

Let’s start small

While at work, either e-mail, text, or call your significant other and say something along the lines of:

Hey sweetie, I’m extremely busy at work, but I wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you. I miss you and can’t wait to see you. (Obviously take the time to rewrite the message with words you would normally use with your lady.)

Do you know what happened when I sent this to wife? When I got home, the grass was cut. My wife never cuts the grass! No joke. I was also told how sweet and thoughtful I was for taking a moment out of my busy day to send her that e-mail.

While your lady doing things like cutting the grass for you is not necessarily the outcome we are looking for- it is nice bonus for sure. Remember, the goal here is to create the feeling for her that she is the center of your world. It will keep you her biggest fan and there will be all kinds of rewards for you to reap from that alone with the most important being you won’t be lonely.

If you would like to read more of Amy Spencer’s article, you can find it here:

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=11997


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My name is Ryan and I am an extremely optimistic person, lover of this thing called life, and avid fisherman. While it sounds nice to say that I have a Masters Degree in Marketing and an Associates in Psychology, I find it is what I do with those degrees to be more important. I enjoy helping people whether it is through listening, offering advice, or, more often than not, helping people understand that true happiness lies in the ability to find joy in the “little things” that happen to each one us every single day.
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Life Sucks Sometimes Part 2 - the Power of Music

0
Normally I am a very optimistic person. I see the world through rose colored glasses and frankly I wouldn’t have it any other way. I cannot imagine going through life being a pessimist, always sour about something. Every once in a while however, like most people, I have an off day. We all encounter things throughout our day that can turn us from Happy into Grumpy in a heartbeat. That was a Snow White reference in case you missed it. It might be something as simple as misinterpreting an e-mail to an exchange of words with the boss. These things, when they transpire, can change a great day into an abysmal one very quickly. It is our own fault really. We give other people the power to ruin our day. But I digress, that is topic for another post.

In my last post, Life Sucks Sometimes – the Power of a Really Good Kiss, I wrote about how a kiss from the one you love is like some kind of magic trick evaporating the negative from your day into thin air. So too can music. Music has the ability to reach out and grab a person because it is entertaining, sometimes hypnotic and most importantly for our discussion, relatable. Have you ever found yourself tapping your foot or singing along to a song while in a bad mood? Me either. I have found however that a great song, one that strikes a chord with its listener, can turn a day around. Now that is power!

Music can truly help an individual in many different ways, from dealing with a death of a loved one to expressing how one feels. That gets me to this week tip. However, to accomplish it you will need to be a little covert or sneaky if you will. It will also require a little bit of time on your part as well. Intrigued?

First you will need to confiscate your significant other’s mp3 player. Or if you really want to look good purchase a new one for her. Below you will find a few examples for your consideration. Once you have the mp3 player load it up with at least ten songs that make you think of her. Sort of a modern day mixed tape. Do not however burn the songs on a CD-R. What I am proposing shows more thought and effort on your part and believe you me when I tell you she will appreciate it. In fact she is sure to appreciate the gift itself and will be astonished that you took the time to put songs with meaning on it. She will think you are romantic at heart and her friends will say “Awwwww” when she tells them about your extremely thoughtful and sensitive gift. And if I know one thing, a woman loves to use words like “romantic,” “thoughtful,” and “sensitive” when talking about her man.

Well there you have it. As always be sure to leave a comment and let me know how things go. Till next time.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Look the lyrics up on-line to make sure the songs you choose are really saying what you think they are. If not you might end up doing damage control like some politician whose wife found out he just took a “business” trip to Aruba with an intern.
Read more

Life Sucks Sometimes - The Power of a Really Good Kiss

2
Have you ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right? You know, one of those days where you think that if one more thing goes wrong you are going to pack it in and go back to bed? Well I was having one of those days last week.

The day started with my alarm going off and me hitting snooze one too many times. Once up I proceeded to kick the corner of the dresser while rushing to get through my morning routine. Needless to say I was late for work and in a foul mood before I even sat down in my office. Being the optimistic person that I am, I tried to shake it off and focus on the day ahead. My positive thoughts only lasted a short while however as the wheels came off the bus. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. The world was out to get me. I was sure of it.

Finally the work day was over! I was on my way home and I knew what was going to happen. My foul mood was going to ooze into the house like a thick fog. It was going to infect everyone in the house. If my wife and daughter were in a good mood they wouldn’t be for long. Unfortunately for most people that seems to be the result of a bad day, projecting it on others.

Arriving at home, I parked the car in the garage, mumbled to myself and walked into the house. Once inside, my wife met me at the door and laid a kiss on me. And boy what a kiss it was! Now she had no idea of the day I was having. After a few seconds the kiss ended and she asked “How was your day?” Do you know what my answer was? I responded to her question with one word, “Great!”

But wait a minute! My day wasn’t great! Why did I say “great?” In hindsight I realize that in that moment my day changed. In three seconds it went from terrible to great. The day was great!  At least now it was.  The sun was shining, I could smell fresh cut grass and someone somewhere was grilling out.  I sat on my deck that evening, enjoyed a wonderful dinner and thought, “I have a great life!” That is the power of a really good kiss!

That leads me to my next tip. Kiss your significant other when you greet her after work.  Linger a little longer than normal and let her get lost in the moment.  Do that every day next week and see what happens.  =)
Read more

How to Argue the Right Way?

1
Recently I watched a video titled “Is there a right way to argue with your spouse?” And while I thought it was an interesting video with lots of good advice, I couldn’t help but think that in an ideal world the argument would be avoided altogether. That is exactly what this blog is all about, talking a little time out of your day, doing something for your significant other and avoiding the fight altogether. The fact of the matter is that if you do the things I am proposing weekly, your significant other is bound to cut you a little slack when she interprets something you do as insensitive, chauvinistic or hurtful. And let’s face it, you are going to do something wrong. We all do. It is just a matter of time.

Before I get to this week’s suggestion, let’s review the video I mentioned above. First off, if you spend the time to watch it, it is roughly eight minutes long, it seems to be a segment written for women and comes off “cheesey” to me. But it does have some value. The segment addresses topics like:

• Avoiding using derogatory statements or “low blows”
• Addressing the issue without insulting your partner
• Being specific and making sure that both individuals get to speak.

All-in-all the video has some very good points and if you and your significant other are prone to arguing I recommend that you watch the video. It can be found HERE.

Ok, enough about the video and how to argue the right way, let’s do something that will help you avoid the argument altogether, which leads us into this week’s suggestion. This week’s suggestion is to go against the grain. Pick something, anything, that you normally do or don’t do that affects your significant other and surprise her by doing the opposite. Do you normally hold the television remote in the evening? Let her control the TV for a night. If she normally cooks breakfast on the weekend, you do it for a change. Instead of holding the remote control, hold her hand while sitting on the couch together. When is the last time you cleaned the dishes or put them away after the dishwasher was done with them? See what I am getting at?

Well there you have it. This week’s tip is to pick something and go against the grain. Be sure to write a comment below to let me know what you did and what your significant other’s response was. Till next time.

Read more

Your Personal Trainer for Your Personal Life says "Let's Go!"

0
I think she missed.
Here we go!

Today is the day! What day? Why, the day we get started WOW-ing that lady of yours, of course. But before I get to that, I found an interesting article on Yahoo! this morning. It is titled “For Guys: A Guide to Girl Talk” by Amy Spencer. Amy writes some things that really make me want to pack my bags and live the life of a monk on some mountain-high temple. For example, Amy writes, “If you’ve ever spoken to a woman, it’s fair to say you’ve been confused by one. Yes doesn’t always mean yes, no doesn’t always mean no, and most of us have once in our lives even admitted, “Well, I may have said that, but I didn’t mean it.” “

It is like we have moved to Bizarro World. You know, in the Superman comic books where everything is backward. Didn’t everyone read Superman when they were a kid?

Amy continues her article by sighting examples of what a woman says versus what she really means. Here is my favorite example:

What she says: “If you want to have a guy’s night, go ahead, fine.”
What she means: “I really, really don’t want you to go. And if you do, I’m going to be upset.”

Say what? So really what she is saying is that trying to decipher what a woman means is harder than trying to decipher the hand singles from the coach on an opposing baseball team.

So what are you, a guy, to do if a your woman says “yes” when she means “no,” or if she says it is perfectly fine with her if you do something, only to find out later that you’re in trouble? Because let’s face it, sooner or later you are going to do something wrong, whether it is taking her at her word, acting immature, or tuning her out while your favorite sport is on. The only thing you can do is try to stack the deck in your favor. And just how are you going to do that? By doing the one thing that I know she likes, making her the center of your attention even if it is only in limited brief spurts. You see, if I know one thing, it is that women, all women, like to be the center of her man’s world. That doesn’t mean that you have to dote on her every minute of the day, but it does mean that you have to go out of your way once in a while to make her feel special.

One piece of advice before you start

If you have been in your relationship a while and have not gone out of your way to make your lady feel like she is the center of your world, then you might face a little backlash the first time you attempt you make an effort and follow one of the tasks. She might think that you want something. It is extremely important that, if she questions you, you tell her that you have no ulterior motives and it was you thinking of her that prompted your action.

Let’s start small

While at work, either e-mail, text, or call your significant other and say something along the lines of:

Hey sweetie, I’m extremely busy at work, but I wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you. I miss you and can’t wait to see you. (Obviously take the time to rewrite the message with words you would normally use with your lady.)

Do you know what happened when I sent this to wife? When I got home, the grass was cut. My wife never cuts the grass! No joke. I was also told how sweet and thoughtful I was for taking a moment out of my busy day to send her that e-mail.

While your lady doing things like cutting the grass for you is not necessarily the outcome we are looking for- it is nice bonus for sure. Remember, the goal here is to create the feeling for her that she is the center of your world. It will keep you her biggest fan and there will be all kinds of rewards for you to reap from that alone with the most important being you won’t be lonely.

If you would like to read more of Amy Spencer’s article, you can find it here:

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=11997


Read more
 
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